I feel like I haven’t quite had the right way to put my thoughts down lately which is why I haven’t posted in a while. My mind has been a bit scattered and I just can’t get my head to cooperate.
I’ve been up and down lately. Well, maybe not “up” up, but I’ve felt good and stable and then depressed and angry. I’m a pendulum at the moment. I hate feeling sad but more than that I hate the anger. I cannot control it and I hate not being in control of myself. There is no way to describe the emotional aftermath of being full of rage. The exhaustion and remorse are unreal and they leave me depressed again. It’s a never-ending cycle.
I do a lot of “people-ing” at my job and I love it. It is not only my time to be extroverted, but it’s a time to feel purposeful and accomplished. When I get home I’m exhausted from it all and there is just nothing left of me. Unfortunately, my family is not getting the best part of me at home. Somehow they stick around, though.
There are so many things I want to blog about but I’m still working up the energy to put my them together. Naturally I am sort of at a loss of words today. I think maybe I just need hug and a nap… I think I’ll go do that.