I am writing this on Day 30 of Teetotalism. The date is February 13, 2019. It may not seem like a giant milestone to some, but I feel like every milestone is giant. It’s proof that we’re trying; that we’re doing it!
I had my first restaurant outing this past Sunday. A lovely Galentine’s Brunch and it was super fun and relaxing. The few friends I know well didn’t put me on blast and I don’t think anyone even noticed that I was having a cranberry lime soda in my fancy champagne glass. The best part is that nobody tried to tell or ask me anything like, “come on! just one!?” or “why aren’t you drinking with everyone else?” Which brings me to my next point. Everyone has been super supportive and it means the absolute most.
I wasn’t too worried that I’d have severe FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). I went 103 days last year without a drink (although I was tempted a couple of times), but I’ve recently discovered that any FOMO I may have had has been replaced with JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). The things I will miss out on pale in comparison to the things I gain from making this decision. I feel as if a weight has been lifted. I know that every single day will not be this easy and something at some point will tempt me. I just have to keep my eye on my JOMO.
As someone with Bipolar Disorder I read so many stories of people whose medications just stop working one day. People mention things such as, “This is what I take right now. I know it won’t work forever, but…” The first time I heard this I thought, “What the..? This happens!?” Very recently is the first time I’ve ever considered that my medications might stop working one day as my body chemistry changes over time. Relapse terrifies me and for a while now that’s all I have seen when I look into the future, but like my mom always says, “Don’t worry until you have to worry.” She’s a pretty smart woman. For now, I’m looking ahead with hope and I am excited for the future.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not putting all of my eggs in this sobriety basket thinking that it is going to solve all of my problems. I am not that naive, but even since starting this blog; even after 10 years since my diagnosis, I am learning more and more that I did not know about this illness. I have joined online and in person support groups and have made some amazing allies. Seriously, strangers are amazing.
To all of the people in my life, literally everyone that I interact with regularly that knows about my diagnosis and this very personal life choice, I can’t thank you enough for your unwavering support. I’ve got it good and I know it.
To bring an end to my rant, I think I may be compensating just a little with coffee, which I may have to address at some point. For now I’ll just blame it on my Central American lineage. We love our coffee.
I’m just hanging ten, riding this wave and if the time comes someday when I wipeout I will make myself read this post and remind myself that good days are possible. They are so possible.